Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Short story writers, what is your favorite character you've created and do they appear in more than one of your works?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Nintendo Switch 2 doubles FPS of Switch 1’s “worst” performing games - Dexerto

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

If you caught a shoplifter at your yard sale, how would you handle it?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Researchers Unlock An ‘Alien’ Phenomenon Under Earth’s Largest Lithium Reserves - The Daily Galaxy

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

‘Love Island USA’ Season 7 Premiere Suffers Delay On Peacock & Viewers Share Their Outrage - Deadline

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What are some photos of masturbation?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

‘Love Island USA’ Season 7 Contestant Yulissa Escobar Exits Show Amid Surfacing of Racist Clips - The Hollywood Reporter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Dakota Johnson Realized This Outfit Mistake Mid-Interview — And Her Reaction Was Priceless - HuffPost

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Salmonella outbreak linked to California egg distributor sickens 79 people - NPR

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What methods do private investigators use to investigate someone in real life?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is